Skip to content

Heil Ben Wolfinger!

Joseph Scholten implements the “dickhead maneuver,” punches an unconscious guy in the face.

Joseph Scholten implements the “dickhead maneuver,” punches an unconscious guy in the face.

Posted on April 8, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

EDITORIAL: Alligators eat the smallest child first.

EDITORIAL: Alligators eat the smallest child first.

Posted on April 1, 2019April 8, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Wolfinger can’t do math. Deputies leave en masse. “I’m working at Shopko.”

Wolfinger can’t do math. Deputies leave en masse. “I’m working at Shopko.”

Posted on March 16, 2019April 8, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Post Falls Police give minorities signs to wear. “It’s really for their protection.”

Post Falls Police give minorities signs to wear. “It’s really for their protection.”

Posted on March 15, 2019March 15, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Ahhh, Remember the good ol’ days of Ruby Ridge? Let’s do it again, but keep it on the DL.

Ahhh, Remember the good ol’ days of Ruby Ridge? Let’s do it again, but keep it on the DL.

Posted on March 13, 2019March 13, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

KREM 2 gives touching tribute to dog that mauled mans left arm off.

KREM 2 gives touching tribute to dog that mauled mans left arm off.

Posted on March 5, 2019March 6, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Wolfinger confuses hemp for marijuana. Tries to smoke a shirt.

Wolfinger confuses hemp for marijuana. Tries to smoke a shirt.

Posted on February 28, 2019February 28, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Officer Rosenau and Pierson handcuff man for using library internet. “There will be no learning in Idaho.”

Officer Rosenau and Pierson handcuff man for using library internet. “There will be no learning in Idaho.”

Posted on February 22, 2019February 23, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Coeur d Alene Cops Kill Suicidal Man, Schools hire them for Suicide Prevention Team.

Coeur d Alene Cops Kill Suicidal Man, Schools hire them for Suicide Prevention Team.

Posted on February 22, 2019February 22, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

CDA Cops Pretend to be Gansta’s. Realize they’re just thugs.

CDA Cops Pretend to be Gansta’s. Realize they’re just thugs.

Posted on February 20, 2019 by thomaspaineandpaulrevere

Posts navigation

← Older Posts
Newer Posts →

Ben Wolfinger, Quite a Guy

Ben WolfingerBen Wolfinger is the Sheriff of Kootenai County, Idaho. His interests include telling people what to do, building large cages for people, and making hot wheel cars that look like police vehicles. He is best known for making children sit in pens by themselves, long wait times at the DMV, and waving at people in a way that looks like the Nazi salute. He is lovingly referred to by citizens as "The Wolf" because it is the first part of his last name. It also sounds tough and police officers like to be tough. He is presumably married to a woman because the above photo of him has a woman in it acting like she likes him. Also, Kootenai County Sheriff's Employees can't be gay. Too wussy. Awards include 2019 Best Sheriff of Kootenai County, 2018 Best Human Zoo of the Year, and Most Likely to not Discipline an Officer who violates someone's Human Rights.

Real Shit Ben Wolfinger Said:

"In those days it was one deputy on in the jail, and we only had female dispatchers and they were our matrons." CDA Press Feb 3, 2013

"Short, bald guys can be sheriffs here” Spokesman Review Dec 28, 2016

"There's about 800,000 law enforcement officers in the country and you get one or two that mess it up for everybody." Watchman Wednesdays on Christian Radio Dec 2, 2015

"We really push the idea that we're public servants and we hire people with a servants heart." Watchman Wednesdays on Christian Radio Dec 2, 2015

Disclaimer

This is a satirical website protected by the First Amendment of the United States. Read the full disclaimer.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

  • Home

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Carbon by Codestag.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Heil Ben Wolfinger!
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Heil Ben Wolfinger!
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...