Ben Wolfinger, the President of People in Idaho who like to Play Cops and Robbers (PIWLPCAR), has taken another hard stance on a destructive drug – Hemp. Wolfinger is not going to stand for the hard working citizens of this fine State being exposed to this destructive drug. He made that clear in his letter to the editor where he said this about hemp:

Finally, marijuana, in any form is not an Idaho value. We in Law Enforcement fight daily against the ills caused by drug abuse. 

Many people have tried to tell Wolfinger that there is a difference between hemp and marijuana, but this tough charging cowboy will have none of it. “I tried smoking hemp once and it was terrible,” said Wolfinger. ” I took the shirt off a dirty hippy, rolled it up, and lit it on fire. I inhaled and all I tasted was body odor and patchouli oil. Worst experience of my life. I’ll stick to drinking six shots of whiskey a day in my basement.”

Wolfinger had nothing but praise for the Idaho State Patrol taking the same tough stance when it stopped and seized a truck full of hemp traveling from Oregon to Colorado. “These guys are real heroes. Not only are they stopping another Woodstock but they’re also stopping the manufacturing of those terrible hemp chokers from the 90’s. Lori used to wear one of those and I didn’t like it.”

Take a look at the Trooper’s big haul:

When confronted with the fact that ISP mistook the hemp to be marijuana, Wolfinger said, “Potato. Po-tah-to.” Then he paused to laugh at his Idaho inspired joke. “Besides,” he said, “they tested the stuff and came to the right conclusion.” When asked why they won’t release the results to prove it’s marijuana, Wolfinger said, “When police make a gigantic mistake, like seizing thousands of pounds of legal industrial hemp and arresting an innocent truck driver we double down by hiding everything from the public and planting evidence.” he paused for a moment, “Oh shit, did I say that out loud? Anyhow, you get the point. We did the right thing.”

When questioned about the idea that cigarette smoke is certainly more dangerous than hemp shirts and necklaces, and that 10.5% of Idahoans smoke everyday, Wolfinger stated, “Yes, but people have been doing that for a long time and when people do things for long periods of time they’re generally right. For instance, John Wayne smoked cigarettes. Hell of a guy.”

As the interview continued, Wolfinger became more agitated, “I’m really not liking the tone of your questioning. Fox News and Christian Radio ask a lot easier questions. And they know I’m right so they don’t question my answers.” We decided to end the interview there, but for Wolfinger his day was just beginning. He had a campaign for a drug free Idaho to attend to. His next target. Arugula.