I’m guessing hoping for a “yes,” Officer Jared Reneau asks if she has anything on her that will stick him. Apparently it’s been a long time since he’s been sticked. His partner looks pretty aggressive with that flashlight though, so maybe we’re just assuming. And you know what happens to those who assume.

When the girl pulls away, Jared goes right back to his training at the Fraternity, grabs her arm and says, “I need you to stand still.” When she asks him not to touch her vagina he says he doesn’t want to get another officer out here. Apparently it’s been a long time since he’s had a girl all to himself.

It’s reported that shortly after this arrest that Jared got congratulatory calls from Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby.